He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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