im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
this beer tastes like vomit already
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
