This girl is more easily done than said...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize