All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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