hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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