I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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