Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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