Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
