you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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