At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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