I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
