Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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