I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
