It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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