Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
