Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We were destined to go to rehab together
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize