I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
