I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
