I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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