All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
