I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
