I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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