I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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