one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
