WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
