I could have mohawked her pubes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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