dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
