Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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