Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
