i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I look better un-naked...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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