apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
