guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
