JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
