Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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