I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
