My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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