How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Boobs speak an international language.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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