dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize