And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
