Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
