My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
