I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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