he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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