Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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