Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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