it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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