Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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