Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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