you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
