i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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