just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
