Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
