I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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