Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
