they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
