just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Say something about gay babies.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will be naked everywhere
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
