dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
