my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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