I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
