she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize