everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
