What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
