I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
