Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
