I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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