So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
