I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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