What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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