Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
